When Did We Become So Obsessed With All Babies Sleeping Exactly the Sa – Latched on Love

When Did We Become So Obsessed With All Babies Sleeping Exactly the Same?!

babysleep

I don't know when this happened but frankly, it is sucking the joy out of motherhood (for me at least). 

Someone please tell me who decided one day that every single baby on the planet needed to sleep the EXACT same way? Does this not sound ridiculous to anyone else? I sleep different from my husband and many others that I know. So if many of us sleep different then why can't babies? 

Ok, so here's what I'm saying. Every sleep blog, book, guide, etc. that I read while pregnant or in the first few months of motherhood said that all babies needed to sleep 12 hours exactly at night and then needed X amount of naps for X amount of time at each specific age. It never really had much variation. Very few things I have come across account for the fact that maybe ALL babies are NOT the same. Maybe some babies need more or less sleep or a different schedule (and some babies do not need a schedule at all). Sure, there are ranges and some general norms, but I think we could all use reminding that not every baby will fall into that and that's ok. 

In the beginning, I felt like if my baby wasn't sleeping like the "experts" said, then I was failing or doing something wrong. But guess what, my baby is my baby and she is her own person with her own sleep habits. Watching her cues and changing up things to what works best for her is the most positive way to deal with everything. 

The most important thing I've come to realize is that sleep really is a developmental milestone that each baby will reach at their own pace. Some lucky parents have a baby who reaches it at 3 months while others don't until they are 2 or 3 and THAT'S OKAY! Just like babies crawl, walk, talk, etc. at different times. They all do it in their own time and it is the time that is right for them individually, not because some "sleep expert" said they should do it by 6 months or 9 months. 

I am not one of those lucky moms with a "good" sleeper and while I'd love to be getting more sleep, we'll get there one day and I'll be here to help here until we do. 

April 13, 2016 by Erin M
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Comments

Lydia

Lydia said:

I’m going through this now with my 8 month old. He gets up at least twice a night and wants to nurse. I know the experts say he should sleep all night but it breaks my heart that soon he won’t be nursing at all and I won’t have those moments with him. I can wait to sleep more than 6 hours at a time I guess!

Jenise

Jenise said:

This is everything!!!!!!! I, too, am not blessed with a sleeper and reading this has made me feel 100% better.
I’m so tired of reading/ hearing about what sleep should be. I’m even over people saying “shouldn’t he be sleeping through the night already???” in a tone that sounds so judgemental.
Rock on, tired momma. Thank you for this!!!!

Marianne

Marianne said:

I’m a first time mom. I have a 15 month old son who had never slept through the night.
I have no help at all but I would have felt extremely better if people quit asking me about his sleep and if I answered honestly, they look at me as of I messed him up.
For 15 month, I felt like the worst mother because my son isn’t sleeping as he supposed to.
I felt that I did something wrong!
Until I decided recently that I will forget all about his sleep and enjoy him.
Thank you so much for this article

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