We all want sleep and no one wants it more than a sleep deprived new parent. Here are the secrets to baby sleep that you've all been waiting for:
1. Remember that all babies sleep through the night by 3 months (that's right, every single one! Like clockwork the day they turn 3 months!)
2. Babies have an incredibly picky sense of style when it comes to interior design. They will only sleep in their expensive crib. Why else would you have spent months decorating a perfect nursery to their liking? The nicer the nursery, the better the sleep.
3. If your friend's baby slept through the night at x amount of weeks, then obviously yours will too. Mystery solved!
4. You'll spoil your baby if you let them sleep in your arms, on you, at the breast, or in your bed. You'll basically ruin them for life. Don't. Do. It. Ever. They will literally ask you to come to college with them so they can cuddle up with you in their dorm room twin bed.
5. Your baby isn't sleeping because you're still nursing or rocking them to sleep. Ignore the fact that these things put them to sleep- there's no biological reason this works! Nature, what are you thinking?! How dare you give me an easy way to put my baby to sleep!
6. Just put your newborn in the crib and leave, they'll figure it out! They're only trying to manipulate you with their cries. It's the same with swimming, right? Just throw them in the pool and they'll figure it out. Don't let them win- they're just trying to make you think they can't swim! (Disclaimer: don't actually try this- duh!)